March 22, 2020

First Endometriosis, Then a Miscarriage


First Endometriosis, Then a Miscarriage 

The ability to get pregnant was suppose to be our biggest struggle.

After being diagnosed with Endometriosis over 11 years ago, I did everything I could to help myself for when the time came to start a family.

(You can read my full Endometriosis blog HERE.)

When we got pregnant in September of 2019, I assumed our biggest hurdle was defeated! But at 11.5 weeks pregnant, our little bub no longer had a heartbeat. I honestly crashed harder than I ever have in my life.

(You can read about our miscarriage HERE.)

At the time, I got asked often, “how are you doing?” “How are you still going about your day?” “How are you finding happiness and smiling?”

Each of our stories is going to be 100% different, but waking up sad EVERY DAY was spiraling me fast. 

This has not and was not easy to go through, and for the first time in my life, I was feeling happiness and sadness at the same time in many situations. And if I’m being completely honest, I often felt sorry for myself and my husband.

But asking “why us?” did not give us any answers.

We had MANY breakdowns over the first month that followed the miscarriage, many hard conversations, but also the biggest sense of community I think either of us had ever felt from family and friends and ALL of my social media community 🙏🏼

One thing my husband, Casey, kept saying was “this is part of our story, not our entire story.”

It was hard to hear the statement “everything happens for a reason,” because again, that left me searching for the “why” behind it all.

We don’t always have answers and that is OKAY! I think a lot of us feel that we are unable to move forward or unable to embrace where we are at on our journey’s until answers are given. But that will simply only hold us back from turning the page and seeing what is suppose to happen next.

So we continued to write. Showed up for ourselves one day at a time and used that chapter of our lives to learn and grow from it ✨

“Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you .” None of this made sense at the moment, but after every storm there is a rainbow of hope. 🌈

We are now expecting our sweet rainbow baby this August of 2020 and could not be more excited! 

To read more about how we made it through this storm, click HERE.

Left photo: First Endo surgery 11 years ago (age 19)
Right photo: Before my D&C at 11.5 weeks pregnant (age 30)

Additional Information and Resources Pertaining to this Blog Topic

  • HERE is a Podcast my husband I recorded about our miscarriage.
  • HERE is a Podcast on when we got pregnant again after the miscarriage. I discuss the differences between the two pregnancies as well as the fears I have in the new pregnancy.
  • HERE is a Podcast I recorded with my good friend about the struggles with getting pregnant and the fears that possibly hold us back.
  • HERE is a Podcast on my journey with endometriosis.

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