November 22, 2019

We Had a Miscarriage


We Had A Miscarriage 

We were preparing to add another stocking to our collection this holiday season to announce the newest addition to our family ✨

On September 28th, 2019, Casey and I found out we were pregnant with our first little baby Dell.

A week ago, on November 12th, 2019, we had our first ultrasound and found out that bub wasn’t measuring according to our gestational age but we had a strong heartbeat and got to see the sweetest dancing baby so hopes were high 💛

Tuesday evening, November 19th, 2019, we knew something was not right, I was in a lot of pain and experiencing abnormal bleeding. 

At 11.5 weeks pregnant our little bub no longer had a heartbeat. 

I can’t explain what we are going through, nor do I want to try and find the words. I know we are not alone in this pain, and I hope by sharing this, others know they are not alone, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

It has been a long week of ER visits, 911 calls, and my final procedure of a D&C this afternoon, November 22nd 2019. We are emotionally and physically exhausted and I’m still not sure if this is all real life…

In this moment, I have never felt closer to Casey or recognized how much of a rock this man is for me.

Casey keeps saying this isn’t our story, it’s only a part of it 💛

We know God has his own plan for us. 

We know everything happens for a reason. 

I know I did nothing wrong. 

But this is still the hardest thing I have ever experienced and all of those things are difficult to accept right now. 

I can’t wait for the day that we meet our rainbow baby 🌈 that baby is not even going to be able to handle the amount of love coming their way 💛✨ but for the time being, I’m allowing myself to feel this pain and sadness.

miscarriage, raw video about miscarriage
This is a raw video I recorded and posted a few days after the miscarriage.

Additional information added after Blog was written

THIS is a Podcast my husband and I recorded together 4 weeks after our miscarriage.

In THIS blog I talk about how we made it past this storm.

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